Always wanting to be as timely as possible in light of last night's Oscars, here is a list of the Best Picture nominees that I haven't seen,* ranked by how much I actually want to see them.
* This means that "The King's Speech," "Inception," and "Toy Story 3" don't make the list, since I have actually seen those three. Short review: all are excellent. King's Speech had the Oscar-bait of being an English period drama and was stunningly well acted. Inception had the cool sci-fi hook and I *loved* the ending, although the whole seemed somewhat less than the sum of its parts. Toy Story 3, like almost all Pixar films,** was exceptionally well done but missed a chance when the evil bear stayed evil instead of being more conflicted and when the kid came back for his toys (even if he ended up deciding to let the new kid keep them). A slightly more conflicted but still real ending would've been better IMHO.
** I've never seen "Cars," and honestly have no intention of ever seeing it. Given how great everything else they've done has been I should probably give in, but both that one and it's sequel just look terrible.
Also, a brief note: any thoughts on frequency of posts are actively solicited. Not sure if thrice-a-week is too much or just right or if a regular(ish) schedule is even desirable. If folks want to see more nonsense from me, I'm happy to accommodate that of course, but if people would be more likely to converse or mock or whatever if this was twice-a-week or once-a-week or whatever, I can certainly go that way too.
Anyway, here's today's list:
(7) The Kids Are All Right. While Benning and Moore are certainly quality actresses, neither of them have ever really particularly grabbed me, and I'm not a huge fan of family dramas. Obviously there are some twists here, but nothing that I've heard about this sounds like it's the sort of thing that I would be interested in.
(6) 127 Hours. I understand that James Franco is awesome in this, and I do like the idea of the big movie star who is simultaneously getting like his 4th and 5th Masters degrees and his PhD at Yale, but frankly I'd really rather not think about whether or not I would have the mental toughness to saw my own arm off in order to survive. The very idea of hearing the sound effects......ugh.
(5) The Fighter. I've seen Rocky, and really that's more boxing movies than I ever really needed to see. Small-time boxers overcoming their hardships and being tempted by drugs and gamblers, only to rise through his toughness.....I dunno, I'm sure that it's well done given all the publicity,* but hasn't this been done to death? Only beats 127 Hours on my ranking because Christian Bale is consistent fun and because the premise of 127 Hours is far too squirm-inducing.
(4) The Social Network. We've now hit the ones that I would actually try to see, although this is a "add to the netflix queue" movie for me. The concept is just a little too precious in part - too many college babes were involved on the promo for me to feel the verisimilitude, and all those programmers were so *excited* all the time. I may also be influenced by my general bad feelings toward facebook.* But the story is nevertheless interesting to me - maybe they'll explain how a website that has no noticeable monetization can be worth billions.
* Oh goody, a way for people that I haven't bothered keeping up with since high school to track me down and show me pictures of their pets! And maybe I can get 10-times-a-day updated on their farmville games! If not for some actual friends using the damn thing to actually impart information from time to time, I'd have walked away long ago. As is I can only bring myself to check it once every couple of weeks (thereby missing the good information anyway and defeating the whole point).
(3) Winter's Bone. Okay, so, in a sense this is another family drama like "The Kids Are All Right," but it's framed in the context of a classic heroic journey set in the badlands. I can also be a sucker for a good female empowerment motif.
(2) Black Swan. I'm actively disappointed that I haven't seen this yet. Total psychological collapse movies always sound like fun to me,* and I would enjoy arguing about what really happened.** Also, as someone who was introduced to Natalie Portman in the Star Wars prequels, I'm frankly stunned by the idea that she could win an Oscar. More evidence that Lucas is a historically terrible director of actors, I guess.
* So, those who have seen it, should I see "Fight Club"?
** I've avoided finding out too much about the actual plot and film, but my understanding is that there is an ambiguous resolution.
(1) True Grit. I'm a fan of the Coen Brothers, the acting is supposed to be spectacular, the plot is time-tested, and the cinematography looks like it would be good enough to make the film worthwhile by itself. Very much want to see this asap.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
List #9: Buffy Episodes
Thanks to bombasticus, I have the uneviable task of ranking the best episodes* of the best tv series ever.** No, this isn't something I'm going to obsess over. No, not at all....
* Out of 144! I feel like I should re-watch all of them, too, just to be sure.
** Okay, so that's another list idea. But hard to imagine what could beat Buffy, at least for me.
First a brief note about "best." This is a ridiculous, trite personal blog, not some manner of critical* nonsense or search for objective truth. Like....well, everyone...I have idiosyncratic tastes. So while you're not going to see "Inca Mummy Girl" or "Teacher's Pet" or anything, these are the eps that I liked best, as determined by random whim, as of today.
* Or even meta-critical.
Having said that, best just to get on with it....
(10) Prophecy Girl (Season 1, Episode 12). The season finale of the first season, and just one of the most intensely satisfying hours of TV. Buffy actually manages to defeat the original Big Bad, showing that she can actually accomplish things instead of having the show be all about the eternal struggle against The Master (which it certainly looked like it would be). She also manages to actually have a fun time with her friends afterwards, even though she made the tough choice to be true to her destiny as The Slayer. Also, of course, she dies, setting up all kinds of fun throughout the rest of the series.
(9) Selfless (Season 7, Episode 5). The long-awaited Anya backstory episode. How did she become a vengeance demon? What was she doing in the centuries since? Why is she terrified of bunnies??? Even better, there is some great tension and unusually good acting in the A plot where Buffy determines that Anyanka is out of control and must be stopped.* Lots of threads leading up to this (Xander/Anya troubles, Anya/Rest of the Scoobies tension, Buffy's struggles with determining what is human and what isn't and how the difference is determined) and they all pay off. And, of course, D'Hoffryn's solution to the mess at the end is perfect.
* Honestly, fair enough, considering that she slaughtered a handful of frat boys with a spider demon.
(8) The Zeppo* (Season 3, Episode 13). I am a total sucker for episodes like this:** while Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies battle some nameless apocalypse to save the world in the background, the episode is actually completely about Xander and his independent adventures with a homicidal pack of rebel-without-a-cause zombies. When X manages to stop their bomb from blowing up the school using only his own wits and nerve, it gives him renewed confidence and helps us see him as something more than a hanger-on. I will also admit that the hookup with Faith was a nice touch.
* Amazingly, it's difficult to find much online love for "The Zeppo," so no linkage. Booooo.
** House, M.D. had an episode like this last season that focussed on a typical day in Cuddy's life as the hospital administrator. Much fun to see House's team frantically doing crazy nonsense in the background and randomly interrupting scenes to ask approval for ridiculous procedures.
(7) Normal Again (Season 6, Episode 17). I know that many people hate this episode with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns, but for me it was excellent in confronting the central conceit of the show, which was to take this fantastically ridiculous premise but to execute it in a world that otherwise had realistic human interactions and emotional reactions. But if you've got an otherwise "real" world, how could you not have a significant part of your psyche that, even in the face of all of the evidence, screams that it can't possibly be real? And of course, I love how the show is utterly and completely ambiguous about which is the true reality.* It's entirely possible that Buffy Summers is actually in a mental institution having these schizoid delusions. And, actually, doesn't that make much more sense?
* This is what distinguishes this episode from things like "Who Shot J.R." in Dallas,** which the show resolved by definitively stating that the whole thing was a dream.
** Yeah, I watched Dallas, what of it? I was a kid, I didn't know better. I blame my parents!***
*** And Toby, of course.
(6) The Body (Season 5 , Episode 16). Stunning and staggeringly portrayal of Joyce's sudden death, not from a vamp or a demon or a vengeful devil goddess, but from an aneurysm. The things that people who didn't watch Buffy don't get* is that in spite of the crazy premise it consistently had the most honest emotional responses of any show in television history. These characters just lost a loved one,** and the impact on them is immense and long-lasting. As it should be.
* Not that you can really blame them. History is not exactly littered with meaningful dramas with the word "Vampire" in the title.
** Recall how very very long it took Willow to get over Tara's death, even after not-quite destroying te entire world in her depressed rage. When she finally did feel attraction to another character a year later, she pretty much went nuts again just at the grief from allowing herself to be happy with someone else.
(5) Fear, Itself.(Season 4, Episode 4).
Buffy: This is Gachnar?
Xander: Big overture, little show.
Gachnar: I am the Dark Lord of nightmares, the bringer of terror. Tremble before me! Fear me!
Willow: He's so cute.
Xander: Who's a little fear demon? Come on. Who's a little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why? Can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just....tacky.
Giles: Oh, bloody hell. The inscription.
Buffy: What's the matter?
Giles: I should've translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.
Buffy: What's it say?
Giles: Actual size.
(4) Becoming, Part II (Season 2, Episode 22). For a season and a half we watch Buffy and Angel's relationship grow and develop, then in his moment of true happiness he loses his soul,* and turns back into Angelus. And after encountering more and more evidence of his return to brutal evil, on the brink of him unleashing Hell on Earth, he gets his soul back......but it's too late. And she has to slay not Angelus, but Angel. The worst possible outcome.**** Another example of how Buffy didn't fall pray to the usual tropes - oh, we got the spell done just in time! Well, sometimes you do, and sometimes....well, just a moment too late.
* And boy did it hurt to leave "Innocence" off the list. The scene in the link is just so incredibly brutal. "Love ya too." Wow. Let's consider that one #11.**
** With apologies to "Villains."***
*** Yes, I could do this all day.
**** Well, okay, it's better than Hell on Earth.
(3) Dopplegangland (Season 3, Episode 16). Dark Willow! This is as low as I could possibly be expected to rate this episode. Just a world of fun, and great character development for Willow - not only does she see the value in cutting loose every once in a while, we get to see the potential that is obviously within her for taking charge when needed and kicking ass through the development of Dark Willow.* Also, did I mention the cat suit?
* Okay, so, in theory the vamp that takes over a human's body is a different (soulless) creature than the human that embodied it before. But we clearly see throughout the show how close the two can relate to each other. Look at Harmony, for example - basically the same personality whether vamp or human. I vaguely recall Angel discussing this at some length later in the series as well.
(2) Hush (Season 4, Episode 10). Groundbreaking in its conception* and remarkable in its execution.** A modern fairytale told in true fairytale fashion, amazingly without altering the Buffy ethos. The transparancies slide show alone (with Anya eating popcorn contentedly and, um, certain evocative hand gestures) is better than almost everything on TV currently.
* I'm fairly certain that no other prime-time network TV had 27 minutes with absolutely no dialogue.
** "Hush" garnered the series' only non-technical Emmy nomination (for Joss's writing). Of course, the lack of more recognition is criminal, but not only did they have to deal with the genre prejudice but being on upstart WB (and for the last two seasons, UPN).
(1) Once More, With Feeling (Season 6, Episode 7). As if there was ever any doubt. If you need me to tell you about this episode, there is no hope for you.
* Out of 144! I feel like I should re-watch all of them, too, just to be sure.
** Okay, so that's another list idea. But hard to imagine what could beat Buffy, at least for me.
First a brief note about "best." This is a ridiculous, trite personal blog, not some manner of critical* nonsense or search for objective truth. Like....well, everyone...I have idiosyncratic tastes. So while you're not going to see "Inca Mummy Girl" or "Teacher's Pet" or anything, these are the eps that I liked best, as determined by random whim, as of today.
* Or even meta-critical.
Having said that, best just to get on with it....
(10) Prophecy Girl (Season 1, Episode 12). The season finale of the first season, and just one of the most intensely satisfying hours of TV. Buffy actually manages to defeat the original Big Bad, showing that she can actually accomplish things instead of having the show be all about the eternal struggle against The Master (which it certainly looked like it would be). She also manages to actually have a fun time with her friends afterwards, even though she made the tough choice to be true to her destiny as The Slayer. Also, of course, she dies, setting up all kinds of fun throughout the rest of the series.
(9) Selfless (Season 7, Episode 5). The long-awaited Anya backstory episode. How did she become a vengeance demon? What was she doing in the centuries since? Why is she terrified of bunnies??? Even better, there is some great tension and unusually good acting in the A plot where Buffy determines that Anyanka is out of control and must be stopped.* Lots of threads leading up to this (Xander/Anya troubles, Anya/Rest of the Scoobies tension, Buffy's struggles with determining what is human and what isn't and how the difference is determined) and they all pay off. And, of course, D'Hoffryn's solution to the mess at the end is perfect.
* Honestly, fair enough, considering that she slaughtered a handful of frat boys with a spider demon.
(8) The Zeppo* (Season 3, Episode 13). I am a total sucker for episodes like this:** while Buffy and the rest of the Scoobies battle some nameless apocalypse to save the world in the background, the episode is actually completely about Xander and his independent adventures with a homicidal pack of rebel-without-a-cause zombies. When X manages to stop their bomb from blowing up the school using only his own wits and nerve, it gives him renewed confidence and helps us see him as something more than a hanger-on. I will also admit that the hookup with Faith was a nice touch.
* Amazingly, it's difficult to find much online love for "The Zeppo," so no linkage. Booooo.
** House, M.D. had an episode like this last season that focussed on a typical day in Cuddy's life as the hospital administrator. Much fun to see House's team frantically doing crazy nonsense in the background and randomly interrupting scenes to ask approval for ridiculous procedures.
(7) Normal Again (Season 6, Episode 17). I know that many people hate this episode with the fiery passion of a thousand burning suns, but for me it was excellent in confronting the central conceit of the show, which was to take this fantastically ridiculous premise but to execute it in a world that otherwise had realistic human interactions and emotional reactions. But if you've got an otherwise "real" world, how could you not have a significant part of your psyche that, even in the face of all of the evidence, screams that it can't possibly be real? And of course, I love how the show is utterly and completely ambiguous about which is the true reality.* It's entirely possible that Buffy Summers is actually in a mental institution having these schizoid delusions. And, actually, doesn't that make much more sense?
* This is what distinguishes this episode from things like "Who Shot J.R." in Dallas,** which the show resolved by definitively stating that the whole thing was a dream.
** Yeah, I watched Dallas, what of it? I was a kid, I didn't know better. I blame my parents!***
*** And Toby, of course.
(6) The Body (Season 5 , Episode 16). Stunning and staggeringly portrayal of Joyce's sudden death, not from a vamp or a demon or a vengeful devil goddess, but from an aneurysm. The things that people who didn't watch Buffy don't get* is that in spite of the crazy premise it consistently had the most honest emotional responses of any show in television history. These characters just lost a loved one,** and the impact on them is immense and long-lasting. As it should be.
* Not that you can really blame them. History is not exactly littered with meaningful dramas with the word "Vampire" in the title.
** Recall how very very long it took Willow to get over Tara's death, even after not-quite destroying te entire world in her depressed rage. When she finally did feel attraction to another character a year later, she pretty much went nuts again just at the grief from allowing herself to be happy with someone else.
(5) Fear, Itself.(Season 4, Episode 4).
Buffy: This is Gachnar?
Xander: Big overture, little show.
Gachnar: I am the Dark Lord of nightmares, the bringer of terror. Tremble before me! Fear me!
Willow: He's so cute.
Xander: Who's a little fear demon? Come on. Who's a little fear demon?
Giles: Don't taunt the fear demon.
Xander: Why? Can he hurt me?
Giles: No, it's just....tacky.
Giles: Oh, bloody hell. The inscription.
Buffy: What's the matter?
Giles: I should've translated the Gaelic inscription under the illustration of Gachnar.
Buffy: What's it say?
Giles: Actual size.
(4) Becoming, Part II (Season 2, Episode 22). For a season and a half we watch Buffy and Angel's relationship grow and develop, then in his moment of true happiness he loses his soul,* and turns back into Angelus. And after encountering more and more evidence of his return to brutal evil, on the brink of him unleashing Hell on Earth, he gets his soul back......but it's too late. And she has to slay not Angelus, but Angel. The worst possible outcome.**** Another example of how Buffy didn't fall pray to the usual tropes - oh, we got the spell done just in time! Well, sometimes you do, and sometimes....well, just a moment too late.
* And boy did it hurt to leave "Innocence" off the list. The scene in the link is just so incredibly brutal. "Love ya too." Wow. Let's consider that one #11.**
** With apologies to "Villains."***
*** Yes, I could do this all day.
**** Well, okay, it's better than Hell on Earth.
(3) Dopplegangland (Season 3, Episode 16). Dark Willow! This is as low as I could possibly be expected to rate this episode. Just a world of fun, and great character development for Willow - not only does she see the value in cutting loose every once in a while, we get to see the potential that is obviously within her for taking charge when needed and kicking ass through the development of Dark Willow.* Also, did I mention the cat suit?
* Okay, so, in theory the vamp that takes over a human's body is a different (soulless) creature than the human that embodied it before. But we clearly see throughout the show how close the two can relate to each other. Look at Harmony, for example - basically the same personality whether vamp or human. I vaguely recall Angel discussing this at some length later in the series as well.
(2) Hush (Season 4, Episode 10). Groundbreaking in its conception* and remarkable in its execution.** A modern fairytale told in true fairytale fashion, amazingly without altering the Buffy ethos. The transparancies slide show alone (with Anya eating popcorn contentedly and, um, certain evocative hand gestures) is better than almost everything on TV currently.
* I'm fairly certain that no other prime-time network TV had 27 minutes with absolutely no dialogue.
** "Hush" garnered the series' only non-technical Emmy nomination (for Joss's writing). Of course, the lack of more recognition is criminal, but not only did they have to deal with the genre prejudice but being on upstart WB (and for the last two seasons, UPN).
(1) Once More, With Feeling (Season 6, Episode 7). As if there was ever any doubt. If you need me to tell you about this episode, there is no hope for you.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Lyric Contest
Got behind so missed my posting schedule for today. As a penalty to myself and to (hopefully) artificially boost commenting numbers, I'll post a quick lyric contest. Whoever can guess the song from the below snippet - without using ye olde Internet, of course, can choose my topic for the next list from among these choices:
1) best candy (either chocolate or non-chocolate versions)
2) favorite cars I've owned
3) best concerts I've been to
4) most useful super powers
5) winner's choice of something else*
* subject to certain arbitrary limitations to be imposed upon my whim.
So anyway, here's the quote. Guess away!
"My baby sister can do it with ease - it's easier than learning your A-B-Cs"
1) best candy (either chocolate or non-chocolate versions)
2) favorite cars I've owned
3) best concerts I've been to
4) most useful super powers
5) winner's choice of something else*
* subject to certain arbitrary limitations to be imposed upon my whim.
So anyway, here's the quote. Guess away!
"My baby sister can do it with ease - it's easier than learning your A-B-Cs"
Monday, February 21, 2011
List #8: Books
Like all of you, I'm a fairly voracious reader. Probably unlike most of you, I have a tendency to read a couple of chapters in a book and then, even if I like it, I get distracted by a new book and read a couple of chapters in the new one, and so on and so on.
Thus, the list of books I'm currently reading, ranked by how likely I am to ever actually finish them:
(14) Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman. I'm a huge, huge fan of Klosterman,* but he's made his name as a pop culture essayist. This is his first and, hopefully, only venture into straight fiction. For me, his style just didn't translate. I made it about 25% of the way in just based on built up goodwill from prior books, and it's still in the pile on my bedside table, but this is going to hit the shelves soon I think.
* Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs is an incredible and highly recommended book.
(13) The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons. Like any respectable sports and pop culture fan, I'm an admirer of Simmons's work and the parts of this that I've read have been good, but I'm actually not a huge basketball fan* and the thing is like 80,000 pages long. The odds that I'll ever finish it are astronomically long.
* It would help if the Rockets were any good. I'm a terrible front-runner in non-baseball sports.
(12) A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin. Yeah, ok, all of y'all have probably read it already, and it's a modern fantasy classic, yadda yadda yadda. Just didn't grab me through 100 pages, and that leaves about 20,000 to go. Seems more like homework than fun reading. I only moved it up to this spot due to the possibility that you lot excoriate me for not reading it and I succumb to peer pressure.
(11) 40: A Doonesbury Retrospective by Gary Trudeau. Picked it up on a 60% discount at Barnes and Noble. I had lost track of Doonesbury after college and figured, hey, I'll grab this and catch up kinda. Odds are strong that it will stick on the table for a long time with intermittent flip-throughs, but hard to imagine that I'll dedicate the time to actually go through the whole thing.
(10) Uncertainty: Einstein, Heisenberg, Bohr and the Struggle for the Soul of Science by David Lindley. This is the sort of book that's right up my alley and I'm inclined to put it higher up on the list, but the reality is that I've had it in the pile for 8 months now and I've made very little progress.
(9) My Man Jeeves by PG Wodehouse. I've read and enjoyed a number of Wodehouse books over the years, but hadn't caught this one before, and it was oddly free for a Kindle download,* so I figured what the heck. Only barely started, and haven't been motivated to read much of it to date, but Wodehouse is the sort of writer where you could easily end up powering through a book in an evening.
* Using the Kindle app on my iPad, of course.
(8) Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Very interesting first couple of chapters, this strikes me as the kind of fantasy epic that Game of Thrones is supposed to be but wasn't (at least for me). Also helps that the Penny Arcade guys and Scalzi are big fans, so I'm reminded of the book's existence periodically. This is the point on the list at which the odds of actually finishing reach around 50%.*
* I know that all none of you who have read this far were desperately wondering about that.
(7) The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi. Ripped through the first book in this series and enjoyed it quite a bit. This one didn't crawl into my head quite as quickly, but it wasn't bad and I'm quite certain that I'll get back around to it and finish it up fairly soon.
(6) Eating the Dinosaur by Klosterman. Not his best work as an essayist, but that's the opposite of damning with faint praise.* Still good stuff, just not up to his first four collections.
* Praising with faint criticism?
(5) Barbarians at the Gate by Burrough and Helyar. Somewhat out of date now, but still a seminal work and a fascinating read. A bit on the heavy side in terms of topic and actual book weight, but nevertheless fascinating. And something that a deal lawyer should've read long before now on general principle, too.
(4) Inventory by The Onion AV Club. Just a bunch of somewhat random and silly pop culture lists* (eg "10 Great Songs Nearly Ruined by Saxophone"), but it's both entertaining and very very easy to read while waiting in lines or if you're waiting to pick up a kid from an activity because you arrived early. They also generally did a good job of not playing out the joke too far by making the lists too long.**
* Lists are awesome. Who doesn't love lists?
** For example, who could possibly be bothered to read a list of 14 books that some other dude is in the middle of reading?
(3) Bloom County: The Complete Collection, Volume 2 by Berkeley Breathed. Unlike the Doonesbury, Breathed is literally sending out a coffee table collection of all of Bloom County. Probably the second-best strip ever IMHO.* I'm already 75% or so through this, and it's every bit as excellent as I remember. NOTE: I will not re-read the regrettable Opus strip and Outland never happened.
* First being Calvin & Hobbes, obviously. Apologies to Fox Trot.
(2) Scorecasting by Moskowitz and Wetheim. Supposed to be a Freaknomics approach to sports, reports are that it has much the same advantages* and disadvantages** of that work. Regardless, something worth reading just for the questions it raises even if the answers are not always satisfactory.
* A novel way of looking at issues and thinking outside of the box; good, easy-to-read writing style.
** Reliance on single studies and anecdotal evidence, unfamiliarity with some prior important research on many of the same issues.
(1) The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie.* Delightfully fun mystery/crime thriller with a rapscallion thuggish hero. Extremely highly recommended for a fun read. This is the book I'm going through currently causing everything else to be on pause until I finish.
* Yes, that Hugh Laurie. Some people are just too damn talented.
Thus, the list of books I'm currently reading, ranked by how likely I am to ever actually finish them:
(14) Downtown Owl by Chuck Klosterman. I'm a huge, huge fan of Klosterman,* but he's made his name as a pop culture essayist. This is his first and, hopefully, only venture into straight fiction. For me, his style just didn't translate. I made it about 25% of the way in just based on built up goodwill from prior books, and it's still in the pile on my bedside table, but this is going to hit the shelves soon I think.
* Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs is an incredible and highly recommended book.
(13) The Book of Basketball by Bill Simmons. Like any respectable sports and pop culture fan, I'm an admirer of Simmons's work and the parts of this that I've read have been good, but I'm actually not a huge basketball fan* and the thing is like 80,000 pages long. The odds that I'll ever finish it are astronomically long.
* It would help if the Rockets were any good. I'm a terrible front-runner in non-baseball sports.
(12) A Game of Thrones by George R.R. Martin. Yeah, ok, all of y'all have probably read it already, and it's a modern fantasy classic, yadda yadda yadda. Just didn't grab me through 100 pages, and that leaves about 20,000 to go. Seems more like homework than fun reading. I only moved it up to this spot due to the possibility that you lot excoriate me for not reading it and I succumb to peer pressure.
(11) 40: A Doonesbury Retrospective by Gary Trudeau. Picked it up on a 60% discount at Barnes and Noble. I had lost track of Doonesbury after college and figured, hey, I'll grab this and catch up kinda. Odds are strong that it will stick on the table for a long time with intermittent flip-throughs, but hard to imagine that I'll dedicate the time to actually go through the whole thing.
(10) Uncertainty: Einstein, Heisenberg, Bohr and the Struggle for the Soul of Science by David Lindley. This is the sort of book that's right up my alley and I'm inclined to put it higher up on the list, but the reality is that I've had it in the pile for 8 months now and I've made very little progress.
(9) My Man Jeeves by PG Wodehouse. I've read and enjoyed a number of Wodehouse books over the years, but hadn't caught this one before, and it was oddly free for a Kindle download,* so I figured what the heck. Only barely started, and haven't been motivated to read much of it to date, but Wodehouse is the sort of writer where you could easily end up powering through a book in an evening.
* Using the Kindle app on my iPad, of course.
(8) Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. Very interesting first couple of chapters, this strikes me as the kind of fantasy epic that Game of Thrones is supposed to be but wasn't (at least for me). Also helps that the Penny Arcade guys and Scalzi are big fans, so I'm reminded of the book's existence periodically. This is the point on the list at which the odds of actually finishing reach around 50%.*
* I know that all none of you who have read this far were desperately wondering about that.
(7) The Ghost Brigades by John Scalzi. Ripped through the first book in this series and enjoyed it quite a bit. This one didn't crawl into my head quite as quickly, but it wasn't bad and I'm quite certain that I'll get back around to it and finish it up fairly soon.
(6) Eating the Dinosaur by Klosterman. Not his best work as an essayist, but that's the opposite of damning with faint praise.* Still good stuff, just not up to his first four collections.
* Praising with faint criticism?
(5) Barbarians at the Gate by Burrough and Helyar. Somewhat out of date now, but still a seminal work and a fascinating read. A bit on the heavy side in terms of topic and actual book weight, but nevertheless fascinating. And something that a deal lawyer should've read long before now on general principle, too.
(4) Inventory by The Onion AV Club. Just a bunch of somewhat random and silly pop culture lists* (eg "10 Great Songs Nearly Ruined by Saxophone"), but it's both entertaining and very very easy to read while waiting in lines or if you're waiting to pick up a kid from an activity because you arrived early. They also generally did a good job of not playing out the joke too far by making the lists too long.**
* Lists are awesome. Who doesn't love lists?
** For example, who could possibly be bothered to read a list of 14 books that some other dude is in the middle of reading?
(3) Bloom County: The Complete Collection, Volume 2 by Berkeley Breathed. Unlike the Doonesbury, Breathed is literally sending out a coffee table collection of all of Bloom County. Probably the second-best strip ever IMHO.* I'm already 75% or so through this, and it's every bit as excellent as I remember. NOTE: I will not re-read the regrettable Opus strip and Outland never happened.
* First being Calvin & Hobbes, obviously. Apologies to Fox Trot.
(2) Scorecasting by Moskowitz and Wetheim. Supposed to be a Freaknomics approach to sports, reports are that it has much the same advantages* and disadvantages** of that work. Regardless, something worth reading just for the questions it raises even if the answers are not always satisfactory.
* A novel way of looking at issues and thinking outside of the box; good, easy-to-read writing style.
** Reliance on single studies and anecdotal evidence, unfamiliarity with some prior important research on many of the same issues.
(1) The Gun Seller by Hugh Laurie.* Delightfully fun mystery/crime thriller with a rapscallion thuggish hero. Extremely highly recommended for a fun read. This is the book I'm going through currently causing everything else to be on pause until I finish.
* Yes, that Hugh Laurie. Some people are just too damn talented.
Friday, February 18, 2011
List #7: Internet Writing
Great writing on these fine intertubes that you nice people may not know about:*
* In other words, I'm not going to pretend to tell you about xkcd or Order of the Stick. Heck, you may know about these too. I can't read your minds, you know.
(5) Matt Taibbi's Political Blog. Kind of a borderline insane, much much MUCH angrier version of Michael Lewis. He takes extreme stances, kind of for the fun of it, but generally along lines that I think he does more or less believe in. More importantly for the present purpose, he is an exemplar of the enraged political rant writing style* and is great fun to read.** He also has one heck of a fascinating personal publishing back story.
* see also: Glenn Greenwald, who is rather more erudite but less fun.
** Unless you're a hard-core Republican, I guess. But I wouldn't think that many of those would ever be likely to read this.
(4) The Oatmeal. A treasure trove of particularly random cartoons making use of an oddly warped sense of humor. I'm particularly fond of the infographics. Also successfully persuaded Tumblr to use his non-commissioned art for their 404 error page.
(3) Nathan Rabin's Work at AV Club. Due credit to @e_dawg69* for the initial referral to this one, but I very quickly became hooked. Rabin is a pop culture guru, along the lines of Chuck Klosterman but more downscale in his tastes. Best known for his My Year in Flops series, devoted to re-watching movies that were colossal failures upon their original release,* he also has a fantastic run reviewing the Now! That's What I Call Music annual compilations, as well as various and sundry other wastes of time.
* The eponymous book, which contains the best reviews from the site and considerable additional reviews, is highly recommended.
(2) Joe Blogs. The blog of Joe Posnanski, who is generally acknowledged as the best sportswriter currently working. While that should be enough for any sports fan, there is a ton here for non-sports fans also, and the most important thing is that he's just a damn good writer, whatever he's writing about. A couple of recommended posts that non-sports-fans should still like: A quasi-review of Universal's Harry Potter World, a deconstruction of the Hawaii Chair Infomercial, and a musing on the individual meaning of pop music.
(1) Hyperbole and a Half. Random, infrequently-updating blog based on the personal anecdotes of the writer and her extremely crude stick-figure drawings. And the funniest damn thing I've ever read in my life. I absolutely dare anyone to read any of her top posts and not just about freaking wet themselves. Now, maybe her sense of humor just speaks to me, but if you don't at least find those posts amusing, you are an inhuman monster, incapable of love.
* In other words, I'm not going to pretend to tell you about xkcd or Order of the Stick. Heck, you may know about these too. I can't read your minds, you know.
(5) Matt Taibbi's Political Blog. Kind of a borderline insane, much much MUCH angrier version of Michael Lewis. He takes extreme stances, kind of for the fun of it, but generally along lines that I think he does more or less believe in. More importantly for the present purpose, he is an exemplar of the enraged political rant writing style* and is great fun to read.** He also has one heck of a fascinating personal publishing back story.
* see also: Glenn Greenwald, who is rather more erudite but less fun.
** Unless you're a hard-core Republican, I guess. But I wouldn't think that many of those would ever be likely to read this.
(4) The Oatmeal. A treasure trove of particularly random cartoons making use of an oddly warped sense of humor. I'm particularly fond of the infographics. Also successfully persuaded Tumblr to use his non-commissioned art for their 404 error page.
(3) Nathan Rabin's Work at AV Club. Due credit to @e_dawg69* for the initial referral to this one, but I very quickly became hooked. Rabin is a pop culture guru, along the lines of Chuck Klosterman but more downscale in his tastes. Best known for his My Year in Flops series, devoted to re-watching movies that were colossal failures upon their original release,* he also has a fantastic run reviewing the Now! That's What I Call Music annual compilations, as well as various and sundry other wastes of time.
* The eponymous book, which contains the best reviews from the site and considerable additional reviews, is highly recommended.
(2) Joe Blogs. The blog of Joe Posnanski, who is generally acknowledged as the best sportswriter currently working. While that should be enough for any sports fan, there is a ton here for non-sports fans also, and the most important thing is that he's just a damn good writer, whatever he's writing about. A couple of recommended posts that non-sports-fans should still like: A quasi-review of Universal's Harry Potter World, a deconstruction of the Hawaii Chair Infomercial, and a musing on the individual meaning of pop music.
(1) Hyperbole and a Half. Random, infrequently-updating blog based on the personal anecdotes of the writer and her extremely crude stick-figure drawings. And the funniest damn thing I've ever read in my life. I absolutely dare anyone to read any of her top posts and not just about freaking wet themselves. Now, maybe her sense of humor just speaks to me, but if you don't at least find those posts amusing, you are an inhuman monster, incapable of love.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
List #6: Bad Kids TV
Hrmmm, with that title it sounds more like a list of TV shows about or for Bad Kids.
Well, that could be interesting,* but it's not what today's list is. Today is the promised counterpart to List #3, this being those shows that I have unfortunately been exposed to and for which I may never forgive my offspring.
(4) Max and Ruby. Staggeringly cloying show about the day-to-day non-adventures of precocious big sister rabbit Ruby and her special-needs* little brother/ward** Max. Watch in amazement as Max notices that Ruby;s pet chameleon has escaped its tank and he sees it change colors. WOW! Can you the handle the awesome excitement of Max PLAYING WITH THE HOSE?!?!? Oh no, he may get wet! My normal survival strategy here has been to imagine one of their neighbors barging in at any moment and pounding and pounding them with a shovel. God I hate those boring, boring rabbits. I'm still waiting for Bill Simmons to form a Max and Ruby support group.
* Technically not proven, but the dude definitely has issues. He also waddles. Rabbits should not waddle.
** The parents are never seen, heard, or even referred to. Far as I know, the two kid rabbits just live on their own. Ruby probably sells herself at night for food for them both. Maybe they have a meth lab in the garage? That would actually explain alot.
(3) iCarly. In a way, I feel kinda bad about putting this on here.* In many aspects, it's actually not a bad show. I mean, yes, the core concept of two tween friends and their tween boy-toy** who have a massively nationally popular video web program is beyond terrible. Especially because the web program segments are painful to watch. But the acting isn't really all that bad, the sassy best friend is a good character, and it's the kind of show where the sculptor big brother would unknowingly bring three convicts back home from his prison art-therapy class when they smuggled themselves in a giant sculpture of pants. That's at least original-ish, right?
* Because I'm sure that the creators and actors will find out about this ranking and cry themselves to sleep for weeks.
** Really, the love triangle stuff here is staggering. And yet this kid is resistant to all of it. Freaking moron. I assume the kid actor is actually banging the best friend actress.
My problem with this show is that it's one of the few that both of my kids like equally, which means that I've seen every single goddamn motherfrakking episode like 50 frakking times. I know all of these characters better than I know my co-workers. I could draw a goddamn map of their apartment. I know what they like to order at the malt shop.* At this point, I just cannot stand to even be in the same room as that show.
* Yes, the malt shop.
This is the thing about kids that people without them don't know. And I've had this verified that it's not unique to my offspring, but everyone's kids are like this. They can watch the same goddamn show over and over and over and over and over and over and over ad nauseum, and never ever get tired of it. Never! Man, just even thinking about having to watch one more second of this show puts me perilously close to a murderous rage. When I was originally thinking about this list, I figured iCarly would be a shoo-in for the top spot, which makes these next two really even that much more "impressive."
(2) Shake It Up. One of the Disney Channel's newest offerings, and an abomination against all that is holy. It's actually not *that* bad, aside from the terrible writing, wooden acting, fake cardboard scenes, ridiculous premise, hackneyed outfits, and lowest-common-denominator muzak. Oh, and the whole show is also pretty much a total watered-down ripoff of Fame! and Hairspray.*
* Disney is now ripping off Roger Waters. Let's all reflect on that for a moment.
So essentially, this group of young talented morons achieves their life goal of.....being backup dancers on some ridiculous Disneyesque tween American Bandstand show. Of course, with this being a Disney show they have access to the mouse's clone farm of ridiculously talented actor/singer/dancer tweens to draw from, such that these kids are ludicrously overqualified for the pathetic backup dancer job that they are thrilled beyond belief to get. Maybe this is all a sales pitch to get more kids to be enthused to apply for that job as twirler #6 in the DisneyWorld main street parade?
(1) The Suite Life on Deck. It is difficult to imagine that any show ever broadcast could possibly be worse than this dreck. A spinoff of a show that was originally based on the "cute" antics of a pair of adorable rapscallion twins, this is what happens when the cute kids grow into awkward teens but somehow still retain an audience.
Having been in show business for years just by running around as stupid kids, the leads have never learned anything approximating acting and pretty much read their cue cards and stumble around. Not wanting to point out this minor flaw, the rest of the cast was either deliberately selected for their inability or is dumbing it down to keep the twins from looking even worse.
The premise of the show is perhaps even worse - for some unknown reason, the entire cast of the original show has left the hotel where it was based, and is now on a cruise ship. This includes the hotel manager, who is now some kind of bursor or something, the cute coat-check girl, who apparently no longer has to work at all even though that was a big part of her character before, the heiress who owns the hotel (and who is now palling around with the other kids who she essentially hated in the original show), and all of the hotel staff that we ever saw in the original show.
I suppose it makes sense if the idea was to just kill all of these very, very annoying people by putting them on a ship that you had lying around and sailing it off the edge of the earth. Next time I'm forced to watch, I'm definitely going to have their impending doom on my mind.
Well, that could be interesting,* but it's not what today's list is. Today is the promised counterpart to List #3, this being those shows that I have unfortunately been exposed to and for which I may never forgive my offspring.
(4) Max and Ruby. Staggeringly cloying show about the day-to-day non-adventures of precocious big sister rabbit Ruby and her special-needs* little brother/ward** Max. Watch in amazement as Max notices that Ruby;s pet chameleon has escaped its tank and he sees it change colors. WOW! Can you the handle the awesome excitement of Max PLAYING WITH THE HOSE?!?!? Oh no, he may get wet! My normal survival strategy here has been to imagine one of their neighbors barging in at any moment and pounding and pounding them with a shovel. God I hate those boring, boring rabbits. I'm still waiting for Bill Simmons to form a Max and Ruby support group.
* Technically not proven, but the dude definitely has issues. He also waddles. Rabbits should not waddle.
** The parents are never seen, heard, or even referred to. Far as I know, the two kid rabbits just live on their own. Ruby probably sells herself at night for food for them both. Maybe they have a meth lab in the garage? That would actually explain alot.
(3) iCarly. In a way, I feel kinda bad about putting this on here.* In many aspects, it's actually not a bad show. I mean, yes, the core concept of two tween friends and their tween boy-toy** who have a massively nationally popular video web program is beyond terrible. Especially because the web program segments are painful to watch. But the acting isn't really all that bad, the sassy best friend is a good character, and it's the kind of show where the sculptor big brother would unknowingly bring three convicts back home from his prison art-therapy class when they smuggled themselves in a giant sculpture of pants. That's at least original-ish, right?
* Because I'm sure that the creators and actors will find out about this ranking and cry themselves to sleep for weeks.
** Really, the love triangle stuff here is staggering. And yet this kid is resistant to all of it. Freaking moron. I assume the kid actor is actually banging the best friend actress.
My problem with this show is that it's one of the few that both of my kids like equally, which means that I've seen every single goddamn motherfrakking episode like 50 frakking times. I know all of these characters better than I know my co-workers. I could draw a goddamn map of their apartment. I know what they like to order at the malt shop.* At this point, I just cannot stand to even be in the same room as that show.
* Yes, the malt shop.
This is the thing about kids that people without them don't know. And I've had this verified that it's not unique to my offspring, but everyone's kids are like this. They can watch the same goddamn show over and over and over and over and over and over and over ad nauseum, and never ever get tired of it. Never! Man, just even thinking about having to watch one more second of this show puts me perilously close to a murderous rage. When I was originally thinking about this list, I figured iCarly would be a shoo-in for the top spot, which makes these next two really even that much more "impressive."
(2) Shake It Up. One of the Disney Channel's newest offerings, and an abomination against all that is holy. It's actually not *that* bad, aside from the terrible writing, wooden acting, fake cardboard scenes, ridiculous premise, hackneyed outfits, and lowest-common-denominator muzak. Oh, and the whole show is also pretty much a total watered-down ripoff of Fame! and Hairspray.*
* Disney is now ripping off Roger Waters. Let's all reflect on that for a moment.
So essentially, this group of young talented morons achieves their life goal of.....being backup dancers on some ridiculous Disneyesque tween American Bandstand show. Of course, with this being a Disney show they have access to the mouse's clone farm of ridiculously talented actor/singer/dancer tweens to draw from, such that these kids are ludicrously overqualified for the pathetic backup dancer job that they are thrilled beyond belief to get. Maybe this is all a sales pitch to get more kids to be enthused to apply for that job as twirler #6 in the DisneyWorld main street parade?
(1) The Suite Life on Deck. It is difficult to imagine that any show ever broadcast could possibly be worse than this dreck. A spinoff of a show that was originally based on the "cute" antics of a pair of adorable rapscallion twins, this is what happens when the cute kids grow into awkward teens but somehow still retain an audience.
Having been in show business for years just by running around as stupid kids, the leads have never learned anything approximating acting and pretty much read their cue cards and stumble around. Not wanting to point out this minor flaw, the rest of the cast was either deliberately selected for their inability or is dumbing it down to keep the twins from looking even worse.
The premise of the show is perhaps even worse - for some unknown reason, the entire cast of the original show has left the hotel where it was based, and is now on a cruise ship. This includes the hotel manager, who is now some kind of bursor or something, the cute coat-check girl, who apparently no longer has to work at all even though that was a big part of her character before, the heiress who owns the hotel (and who is now palling around with the other kids who she essentially hated in the original show), and all of the hotel staff that we ever saw in the original show.
I suppose it makes sense if the idea was to just kill all of these very, very annoying people by putting them on a ship that you had lying around and sailing it off the edge of the earth. Next time I'm forced to watch, I'm definitely going to have their impending doom on my mind.
Monday, February 14, 2011
List #5: Lost Projects
First, a small programming note: Since I'm doing a bit more exposition than I originally expected,* I think it's in everyone's** best interest if I cut this back to a M/W/F posting schedule. At the least that will make it less likely that this experiment ends up on a later version of this list.***
* What, me be overly talkative in print? Shocking. I guess I still don't know me very well.
** Read: my
*** Segue!
Today's list is a confessional listing of former projects that I never followed through on. It's a bit on the shorter side because I've limited it to projects that I actually kind of sort of wish that I had continued or at least made more progress on. I've also restricted it to projects that I was central to, as opposed to things where I was purely participatory.*
* R.I.P., Worlds Largest Game.
(1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer Retro Reviews. The late, no-so-lamented project of re-watching all of Buffy and Angel and doing recaps of the experience lasted all of 9 episodes* of Season One of BtVS. This was actually a fair amount of fun to do - obviously the episodes themselves were great (even if they were sometimes so campy that they were great), and Buffy is almost certainly my favorite TV Show Ever.**
* Actually, it seems like it may have been 8, as I appear to have skipped from episode 7 to episode 9. Impressive quality control for a project that lasted such a short time in the first place.
** Ooooh, another highly-original list idea! These things just write themselves!
Unfortunately, due to my tendency to overdo things, the damn reviews themselves were becoming a beast to write, with fairly little payoff in terms of reader interaction and whatnot. Also, it's not exactly like nobody else had ever done the same thing. Not that I knew that at the time, but still. Makes the enterprise seem even less necessary (and you have to conserve that precious internet space, of course).
I still have a wholly-theoretical plan to actually re-watch the series in order, but it's hard to imagine re-engaging with the review process, nifty though it was for a brief moment.
(2) MMMMMmmmmmmm! The fun new game from B&B Enterprises, Ltd. was to have replaced Charades in the living rooms of an adoring American public. The idea, for those of you who don't remember it,* was that instead of bare pantomime, contestants would be allowed to communicate through the usage of the word "mmmmmmmmm." Thus, you could shout, whisper, murmur, or intone "mmmmmmmmm," even using intonation or stops to communicate with the guessers.
* As if anyone could forget, of course.
Instead of boring old-timey Charades categories as "Movies" and "Famous People," "MMMMMmmmmmmm" used fresh, hip new selections such as "Movie Quotes,"* and "Things You Want To Pound and Pound With a Shovel."
* e.g., Baby Fish-Mouth.
** e.g., The Repetitive Overusage of Baby Fish-Mouth.
Sadly, all of the detailed specs for the game were lost in a fire. Otherwise we could play it over and over and over again.
(3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer Role-Playing Game.*
* What??? Shut up. So I liked Buffy alot. So did alot of people. Hrmph.
The basic idea here was to focus on the witty quips and interpersonal relationships. Players would take the Willow and Xander type roles, while The Buffster would be an NPC controlled by the GM. Whether or not the evil would be vanquished would never really be in question, so the game was to be all about the style of the vanquishing and the associated whatnot. Different characters would have different sub-goals that the others didn't know about, that kind of thing.
Believe it or not,* I actually had a ream of notes on how this would work.** Unfortunately they were on my first-gen blackberry. Which I never synched. And then it died. Oddly, I didn't have much desire to re-create all the stuff I had previously done, so the game is lost to my periodic fevered imagination.***
* Because I just know that you all think I'm totally way too cool to do something like this, and not nearly OCD enough....
** "Work" meaning getting close enough for an informal session of morons to play it for giggles. No fantasy that Joss would license it out or something. Not that he asserts just a ton of quality control or anything, but still.
*** Obviously, if this tragedy didn't happen I totally would've followed through.
* What, me be overly talkative in print? Shocking. I guess I still don't know me very well.
** Read: my
*** Segue!
Today's list is a confessional listing of former projects that I never followed through on. It's a bit on the shorter side because I've limited it to projects that I actually kind of sort of wish that I had continued or at least made more progress on. I've also restricted it to projects that I was central to, as opposed to things where I was purely participatory.*
* R.I.P., Worlds Largest Game.
(1) Buffy the Vampire Slayer Retro Reviews. The late, no-so-lamented project of re-watching all of Buffy and Angel and doing recaps of the experience lasted all of 9 episodes* of Season One of BtVS. This was actually a fair amount of fun to do - obviously the episodes themselves were great (even if they were sometimes so campy that they were great), and Buffy is almost certainly my favorite TV Show Ever.**
* Actually, it seems like it may have been 8, as I appear to have skipped from episode 7 to episode 9. Impressive quality control for a project that lasted such a short time in the first place.
** Ooooh, another highly-original list idea! These things just write themselves!
Unfortunately, due to my tendency to overdo things, the damn reviews themselves were becoming a beast to write, with fairly little payoff in terms of reader interaction and whatnot. Also, it's not exactly like nobody else had ever done the same thing. Not that I knew that at the time, but still. Makes the enterprise seem even less necessary (and you have to conserve that precious internet space, of course).
I still have a wholly-theoretical plan to actually re-watch the series in order, but it's hard to imagine re-engaging with the review process, nifty though it was for a brief moment.
(2) MMMMMmmmmmmm! The fun new game from B&B Enterprises, Ltd. was to have replaced Charades in the living rooms of an adoring American public. The idea, for those of you who don't remember it,* was that instead of bare pantomime, contestants would be allowed to communicate through the usage of the word "mmmmmmmmm." Thus, you could shout, whisper, murmur, or intone "mmmmmmmmm," even using intonation or stops to communicate with the guessers.
* As if anyone could forget, of course.
Instead of boring old-timey Charades categories as "Movies" and "Famous People," "MMMMMmmmmmmm" used fresh, hip new selections such as "Movie Quotes,"* and "Things You Want To Pound and Pound With a Shovel."
* e.g., Baby Fish-Mouth.
** e.g., The Repetitive Overusage of Baby Fish-Mouth.
Sadly, all of the detailed specs for the game were lost in a fire. Otherwise we could play it over and over and over again.
(3) Buffy the Vampire Slayer Role-Playing Game.*
* What??? Shut up. So I liked Buffy alot. So did alot of people. Hrmph.
The basic idea here was to focus on the witty quips and interpersonal relationships. Players would take the Willow and Xander type roles, while The Buffster would be an NPC controlled by the GM. Whether or not the evil would be vanquished would never really be in question, so the game was to be all about the style of the vanquishing and the associated whatnot. Different characters would have different sub-goals that the others didn't know about, that kind of thing.
Believe it or not,* I actually had a ream of notes on how this would work.** Unfortunately they were on my first-gen blackberry. Which I never synched. And then it died. Oddly, I didn't have much desire to re-create all the stuff I had previously done, so the game is lost to my periodic fevered imagination.***
* Because I just know that you all think I'm totally way too cool to do something like this, and not nearly OCD enough....
** "Work" meaning getting close enough for an informal session of morons to play it for giggles. No fantasy that Joss would license it out or something. Not that he asserts just a ton of quality control or anything, but still.
*** Obviously, if this tragedy didn't happen I totally would've followed through.
Friday, February 11, 2011
List #4: Not-Colors
Programming Note: Okay, I suggested that today would be bad kids TV, but sadly that is a subject that I have spent entirely too much time thinking about and thus need more time with which to expound. And today is our Annual Partners' Meeting, so typing away on Blogger is frowned upon. So look for that one later.
For now: Six Colors That I Am Convinced Are Not Real Colors, But Instead Are Band Names*
* And yes, I picked these "colors" before going online to look for actual bands to link to.
(6) Amythist. This has to totally be an emo group. Probably some kind of hipster commune thing like the goddamn Polysymphonic Spree.
And yes, I am aware of the gemstone Amythist, thank you very much. But that doesn't mean that the same word has to be a color. I mean, is there a Rock color? How about Granite? When people first saw amythists, how did they describe them? Would they not say, I dunno, *purple*?
(5) Moccasin. I'm thinking this is a rockabilly kind of thing like Molly Hatchet. Alternatively, could be some kind of nature ambient thing using only sounds recorded in the wilderness.
(4) Jonquil. Pretty sure I knew a Jonquil in college, although I think she spelled it differently. Definitely not a color though. Presumably a nice acoustic folk rock - what dulinor would refer to as "Lesbian Bookstore" music.
(3) Razzmatazz. Light atmospheric jazz. Like a much much worse Norah Jones cover band or something.* As for the color, come on. That's not even a real word.
* Oh god, that band's website has an intro tone that is, in fact, a light jazz cover....but it's of one of my favorite songs by Michele Branch. My ears are bleeding.
(2) Bittersweet. Are you freaking kidding me? Bittersweet is allegedly a color now? How about Melancholy or Crunchy as colors. Lord. This is probably some kind of postmodern whining hipster rock like The Postal Service.
(1) Oxblood. Oxblood is not a color. People who say it is are ridiculous and not to be trusted. For a band, it has to be thrash metal. Maybe Norwegian Death Metal if we're lucky.
For now: Six Colors That I Am Convinced Are Not Real Colors, But Instead Are Band Names*
* And yes, I picked these "colors" before going online to look for actual bands to link to.
(6) Amythist. This has to totally be an emo group. Probably some kind of hipster commune thing like the goddamn Polysymphonic Spree.
And yes, I am aware of the gemstone Amythist, thank you very much. But that doesn't mean that the same word has to be a color. I mean, is there a Rock color? How about Granite? When people first saw amythists, how did they describe them? Would they not say, I dunno, *purple*?
(5) Moccasin. I'm thinking this is a rockabilly kind of thing like Molly Hatchet. Alternatively, could be some kind of nature ambient thing using only sounds recorded in the wilderness.
(4) Jonquil. Pretty sure I knew a Jonquil in college, although I think she spelled it differently. Definitely not a color though. Presumably a nice acoustic folk rock - what dulinor would refer to as "Lesbian Bookstore" music.
(3) Razzmatazz. Light atmospheric jazz. Like a much much worse Norah Jones cover band or something.* As for the color, come on. That's not even a real word.
* Oh god, that band's website has an intro tone that is, in fact, a light jazz cover....but it's of one of my favorite songs by Michele Branch. My ears are bleeding.
(2) Bittersweet. Are you freaking kidding me? Bittersweet is allegedly a color now? How about Melancholy or Crunchy as colors. Lord. This is probably some kind of postmodern whining hipster rock like The Postal Service.
(1) Oxblood. Oxblood is not a color. People who say it is are ridiculous and not to be trusted. For a band, it has to be thrash metal. Maybe Norwegian Death Metal if we're lucky.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
List #3: Good Kids TV
Like any parent, I am tried valiantly to mold and shape the pop culture sensitivities of my kids by exposing them to the classics: Princess Bride, Star Wars*, Lord of the Rings, Psych, Fox Trot, Weird Al, and the like.
* The original trilogy, obviously, not the abominations that some call prequels. They have seen those, of course, but not by my hand.
Of course, we are also at the point where the opposite is true - I am exposed to a variety of television shows, pop music, and books that I would never have known about otherwise. While many of these are terrible almost beyond the ability of words to convey*, in certain cases my life has actually been enriched by one of these discoveries.
* Maybe I can do another list of the bad ones! Maybe even tomorrow! Something to look forward to!
Hence, the top 4 TV Shows That I Never Would Have Heard About If Not For My Kids:
(1) Kim Possible. I may be cheating just a little here, as KP started its run when my kiddos were 1 and 3, but I would never have heard about it if we hadn't been trolling the Disney Channel for shows we could watch with Wee Little Geoffrey. And, boy oh boy, what a show. Ron Possible is, obviously, my role model. KP is a self-actualized feminist icon*, there is a somewhat idealized but basically realistic family dynamic, and of course a impressive rogues gallery. And of course, teenaged girls fighting evil is kind of a good theme as far as I'm concerned.
* It's possible that I'm pushing it just a little with that characterization.
(2) Phineas and Ferb. Delightfully silly, yet consistently entertaining. P&F themselves aren't terribly interesting, but Candice adds good solid "drama"* to the proceedings, Isabella is great, the pet-platapus-that-is-actually-a-secret-agent angle is excellent, and the constant send-ups of the standard tropes of every type are excellent. There really is something unexpected that makes me chortle pretty much every episode. Also, I'm fairly amazed that they can come up with an original song (short thought they may be) every episode that is actually generally pretty good.
* In the traditional preteen sense.
(3) Destroy Build Destroy. The name says it all, really. Teams of kids blow stuff up reeeeeeal good, build something out of the shattered remains, then use that to try to blow up what the other team made. It's really oddly compelling. It's nice to see kids actively trying to destroy other kids' stuff instead of working together to try to make the world a better place or some such crap. Also, did I mention that stuff blows up real good?
(4) Spongebob Squarepants. Yes, one of my many secret shames is that I genuinely like the stupid sponge show. Unlike the other three, I won't actively seek it out myself as something to watch when I'm otherwise unoccupied, but I don't tell the kids to change it when it's on, so it qualifies. Yes, it's stupid, and yes, I suspect that per the rumors it would likely be better to watch while stoned, but it's actually reasonably entertaining. What really makes it work for me is that there is a strong undercurrent of hate running through the show - Spongebob is generally making someone else's life a living hell in any given episode, but doing so with such apparent glib naivete that the target can't even directly take out the resulting anger on him. If one assumes that SBSP is actually a master manipulator filled with rage against his fellow beings, there is a delightful subtext waiting to the explored.
* The original trilogy, obviously, not the abominations that some call prequels. They have seen those, of course, but not by my hand.
Of course, we are also at the point where the opposite is true - I am exposed to a variety of television shows, pop music, and books that I would never have known about otherwise. While many of these are terrible almost beyond the ability of words to convey*, in certain cases my life has actually been enriched by one of these discoveries.
* Maybe I can do another list of the bad ones! Maybe even tomorrow! Something to look forward to!
Hence, the top 4 TV Shows That I Never Would Have Heard About If Not For My Kids:
(1) Kim Possible. I may be cheating just a little here, as KP started its run when my kiddos were 1 and 3, but I would never have heard about it if we hadn't been trolling the Disney Channel for shows we could watch with Wee Little Geoffrey. And, boy oh boy, what a show. Ron Possible is, obviously, my role model. KP is a self-actualized feminist icon*, there is a somewhat idealized but basically realistic family dynamic, and of course a impressive rogues gallery. And of course, teenaged girls fighting evil is kind of a good theme as far as I'm concerned.
* It's possible that I'm pushing it just a little with that characterization.
(2) Phineas and Ferb. Delightfully silly, yet consistently entertaining. P&F themselves aren't terribly interesting, but Candice adds good solid "drama"* to the proceedings, Isabella is great, the pet-platapus-that-is-actually-a-secret-agent angle is excellent, and the constant send-ups of the standard tropes of every type are excellent. There really is something unexpected that makes me chortle pretty much every episode. Also, I'm fairly amazed that they can come up with an original song (short thought they may be) every episode that is actually generally pretty good.
* In the traditional preteen sense.
(3) Destroy Build Destroy. The name says it all, really. Teams of kids blow stuff up reeeeeeal good, build something out of the shattered remains, then use that to try to blow up what the other team made. It's really oddly compelling. It's nice to see kids actively trying to destroy other kids' stuff instead of working together to try to make the world a better place or some such crap. Also, did I mention that stuff blows up real good?
(4) Spongebob Squarepants. Yes, one of my many secret shames is that I genuinely like the stupid sponge show. Unlike the other three, I won't actively seek it out myself as something to watch when I'm otherwise unoccupied, but I don't tell the kids to change it when it's on, so it qualifies. Yes, it's stupid, and yes, I suspect that per the rumors it would likely be better to watch while stoned, but it's actually reasonably entertaining. What really makes it work for me is that there is a strong undercurrent of hate running through the show - Spongebob is generally making someone else's life a living hell in any given episode, but doing so with such apparent glib naivete that the target can't even directly take out the resulting anger on him. If one assumes that SBSP is actually a master manipulator filled with rage against his fellow beings, there is a delightful subtext waiting to the explored.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
List #2: Hogwarts Houses
I loved the Harry Potter books. Truly, I did - I've read and re-read them all, and in the time-honored tradition I'm reading them to my kids too (with voices and everything - oooh, another list, favorite HP voices to do out loud). But I hardly think it's controversial to point out that certain aspects of the world created by Ms. Rowling are rather simplistic. The relevant example that's been bugging me recently is the Houses - if the Sorting Hat doesn't put you in Gryffindor or Slytherin, you really may as well just go home, as you are of no consequence. Sure, you may be a temporary love interest or may get killed off dramatically to make a point about the nature of evil, but you have no role to play in the larger story.
Which you'd have to think would be kind of sad for Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff.*
* Curious how the Houses founded by witches are marginalized while the warlock Houses are primary in the good-vs-evil ultimate struggle.
So, making the entirely reasonable supposition that Hogwarts existed more or less as described in the books but without Harry, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and the Gang, what House would really be the best?
(1) Ravenclaw. This actually seems pretty obvious to me. Ravenclaw embodies intelligence, both in terms of raw ability and applied problem-solving. They even have to answer a question or solve a puzzle to enter their dormatory instead of just remembering a password like the other Houses. Even in the books, the importance of the Ravenclaw attributes is obvious, as Hermione, a born Ravenclaw if ever there was one*, is continually central to solving the mysteries and defeating the forces of HWMNBN.**
* I can only assume that the fix was in with the Sorting Hat. Obviously Harry would need more help than just good ol' Ron, so Dumbledore persuaded the Hat to put Hermione (who, granted, is also brave and daring) in Gryffindor instead of her more natural fit.
** I definitely subscribe to Derek Zumsteg's theory that Hermione is the real hero of the books. Unlike certain Chosen Ones who just happen to have mystical origins that give him special powers and natural talents for things like broom riding, Hermione actually works hard, betters herself, solves mysteries, and figures stuff out. All without getting into pathetic self-pitying jags.
Really, though - in today's world, the ability to think things through and solve issues and to think outside of the box is central to having both a solid professional existence and a fulfilling personal life. Ravenclaws forever, yo!
2. Slytherin. Okay, there is a certain amount of evilness to overcome if you're a Slytherin, not to mention some racist tendencies you're going to have to suppress. But the House emphasizes shrewdness and cunning, not to mention self-preservation. It's obviously not the most noble of Houses, but nobility often gets one nowhere*. Learning early on that the world can be a vicious, unyielding place that does not have your best interests at heart can be a very valuable lesson, and figuring out how to turn things to your advantage can be a survival skill as well as a path for the ambitious.
In theory, I'm sure we'd all rather our kids and friends be Gryffindors. But if we really want them to get ahead in the world, and if we can assume that not all Slytherins are inherently evil (eg Tonks), being cunning is much more likely to lead to a fulfilling life than being dashing.
* At least nobility in the absence of a trust fund.
3. Gryffindor. Okay, so, daring, nerve, and chivalry are certainly not bad things. But on their own, they can represent the kind of woolly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten. If not for secret-Ravenclaw Hermione, Harry and Ron would've been killed fifteen times in the first two books alone. Even leaving that aside, bravery and nobility are good things, but they aren't generally enough by themselves to actually get you ahead in the world or to lead to a satisfying existence as you're constantly disappointed in the inability of others to live up to your ideals.
4. Hufflepuff. Yeah, these guys are the cannon fodder of the wizarding world. Loyal and hardworking, but without any particular aptitude and not even brave and daring like Gryffindor. Sad, really. I mean, sure, they're nice people and all, but c'mon. Have you ever known anyone who would've been happy to be told that they were a Hufflepuff? Even the name is sad.
Which you'd have to think would be kind of sad for Rowena Ravenclaw and Helga Hufflepuff.*
* Curious how the Houses founded by witches are marginalized while the warlock Houses are primary in the good-vs-evil ultimate struggle.
So, making the entirely reasonable supposition that Hogwarts existed more or less as described in the books but without Harry, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, and the Gang, what House would really be the best?
(1) Ravenclaw. This actually seems pretty obvious to me. Ravenclaw embodies intelligence, both in terms of raw ability and applied problem-solving. They even have to answer a question or solve a puzzle to enter their dormatory instead of just remembering a password like the other Houses. Even in the books, the importance of the Ravenclaw attributes is obvious, as Hermione, a born Ravenclaw if ever there was one*, is continually central to solving the mysteries and defeating the forces of HWMNBN.**
* I can only assume that the fix was in with the Sorting Hat. Obviously Harry would need more help than just good ol' Ron, so Dumbledore persuaded the Hat to put Hermione (who, granted, is also brave and daring) in Gryffindor instead of her more natural fit.
** I definitely subscribe to Derek Zumsteg's theory that Hermione is the real hero of the books. Unlike certain Chosen Ones who just happen to have mystical origins that give him special powers and natural talents for things like broom riding, Hermione actually works hard, betters herself, solves mysteries, and figures stuff out. All without getting into pathetic self-pitying jags.
Really, though - in today's world, the ability to think things through and solve issues and to think outside of the box is central to having both a solid professional existence and a fulfilling personal life. Ravenclaws forever, yo!
2. Slytherin. Okay, there is a certain amount of evilness to overcome if you're a Slytherin, not to mention some racist tendencies you're going to have to suppress. But the House emphasizes shrewdness and cunning, not to mention self-preservation. It's obviously not the most noble of Houses, but nobility often gets one nowhere*. Learning early on that the world can be a vicious, unyielding place that does not have your best interests at heart can be a very valuable lesson, and figuring out how to turn things to your advantage can be a survival skill as well as a path for the ambitious.
In theory, I'm sure we'd all rather our kids and friends be Gryffindors. But if we really want them to get ahead in the world, and if we can assume that not all Slytherins are inherently evil (eg Tonks), being cunning is much more likely to lead to a fulfilling life than being dashing.
* At least nobility in the absence of a trust fund.
3. Gryffindor. Okay, so, daring, nerve, and chivalry are certainly not bad things. But on their own, they can represent the kind of woolly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten. If not for secret-Ravenclaw Hermione, Harry and Ron would've been killed fifteen times in the first two books alone. Even leaving that aside, bravery and nobility are good things, but they aren't generally enough by themselves to actually get you ahead in the world or to lead to a satisfying existence as you're constantly disappointed in the inability of others to live up to your ideals.
4. Hufflepuff. Yeah, these guys are the cannon fodder of the wizarding world. Loyal and hardworking, but without any particular aptitude and not even brave and daring like Gryffindor. Sad, really. I mean, sure, they're nice people and all, but c'mon. Have you ever known anyone who would've been happy to be told that they were a Hufflepuff? Even the name is sad.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
List #1: The First Ten List Ideas That Come to Mind
(1) My favorite uncompleted and semi-abandoned projects. How long until this joins the list?
(2) Best Concerts I've Attended. Not that I go to alot of concerts, but you know... Sometimes I wish I was more outgoing. Or didn't have to wake up quite so early. Or just wasn't as lame, generally.
(3) Reasons for Starting a Blog. It has to be more than just random time wasting, right? Maybe there's something in my tragic past! Or it could just be a boring need for approval and pats on the head. Or maybe I enjoy tossing words into the void. Ooooh, the suspense.
(4) Top 100 Songs. Sadly, this will not be as hard to come up with as you might think, as I have this kind of sorted already. And update it regularly.
(5) Best Super Powers. Even better than the ability to run kind of fast and then get tired!
(6) Books I'm Currently Reading. A depressingly long list.
(7) TV Shows I'm Familiar With Only Because I'm a Parent. My sensibilities are undoubtedly warped and sad, but many of these are actually good shows. Of course, some make me want to rip my eyes out and stomp on them.
(8) Reasons Why My Job Is Great. Wait, is job satisfaction uncool? Dammit.
(9) Ranking of Hogwarts Houses if Hogwarts Actually Existed. Ranking them by the books is far too boring: Gryffindor is #1, Slytherin is #-28, and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are irrelevant. But if there was a Hogwarts but no Harry Potter....
(10) Places My Friends Should Move. I know they're always looking for my advice and counsel.
(2) Best Concerts I've Attended. Not that I go to alot of concerts, but you know... Sometimes I wish I was more outgoing. Or didn't have to wake up quite so early. Or just wasn't as lame, generally.
(3) Reasons for Starting a Blog. It has to be more than just random time wasting, right? Maybe there's something in my tragic past! Or it could just be a boring need for approval and pats on the head. Or maybe I enjoy tossing words into the void. Ooooh, the suspense.
(4) Top 100 Songs. Sadly, this will not be as hard to come up with as you might think, as I have this kind of sorted already. And update it regularly.
(5) Best Super Powers. Even better than the ability to run kind of fast and then get tired!
(6) Books I'm Currently Reading. A depressingly long list.
(7) TV Shows I'm Familiar With Only Because I'm a Parent. My sensibilities are undoubtedly warped and sad, but many of these are actually good shows. Of course, some make me want to rip my eyes out and stomp on them.
(8) Reasons Why My Job Is Great. Wait, is job satisfaction uncool? Dammit.
(9) Ranking of Hogwarts Houses if Hogwarts Actually Existed. Ranking them by the books is far too boring: Gryffindor is #1, Slytherin is #-28, and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw are irrelevant. But if there was a Hogwarts but no Harry Potter....
(10) Places My Friends Should Move. I know they're always looking for my advice and counsel.
What the.....?
Since it's 2011 and I like to be no more than 14 years behind the curve, it's time for me to start a blog.
While I initially wanted to share my emo poetry and video diaries about my fantasy baseball teams, I've decided to instead focus on another topic that has been woefully neglected on the internet to date: lists.
My goal is to post a list a day (or so), with as much associated exposition, explanation, and general nonsense as the mood strikes me.
How long will this last? Will anyone even care? Who knows!
While I initially wanted to share my emo poetry and video diaries about my fantasy baseball teams, I've decided to instead focus on another topic that has been woefully neglected on the internet to date: lists.
My goal is to post a list a day (or so), with as much associated exposition, explanation, and general nonsense as the mood strikes me.
How long will this last? Will anyone even care? Who knows!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)